Bad things happen in our lives all the time – we lose a loved one, we see children starving in under developed countries, we are treated unkindly by others, we witness natural disasters… the list goes on. We can lay blame on another person, we blame the universe or God if you believe in that, so how does one go about forgiving? Some instances are easier than others. Sometimes it takes years to work through your own emotions and thoughts towards the situation. The lesson by Stephanie Bennett Vogt is teaching us today that we need “To have a heart so big that it can hold this much unbearable pain is advanced-level work."
I think that this is what I’ve been working on all year. Having a bigger heart. This lesson isn’t about just flicking a switch and yes, you’ll have a bigger heart, it’s more about being aware to the idea of having a larger heart.
We all experience pain. I don’t know anyone that doesn’t. Do we generally blame someone else for our challenges? I think yes. I definitely don’t look to myself as being the person to blame in a heated or upsetting situation. I am quick to blame the other. What I have learned this year is to reflect. I reflect on situations and my part in it. Is there something I can do to change the situation? In more times than not, you definitely cannot change the past. What I try to do instead is to look at how I can move forward. What do I need to let go? How can I change my attitude towards the situation? And, can apply compassion for the other party in this situation? One other thing I do is to think about if the other party or the situation actually impacts you anymore? Does it actually have a hold on you? And if so, how do you break that cycle?
The biggest hold back in my life was always my relationship with my father. He mentally and emotionally abused me. This was from a young age and I’m in my 30s now. By really understanding myself this whole year through my spirituality, I’ve faced a lot of uncomfortable truths and really broken down those situations. I have built my self-awareness. I am building my heart to shine more light. All these steps are building me to be my best self. I mean, I’ve summed it up quite quickly but I’ve worked hard towards being better in my life. One of the things I’ve realised that my father does not have a hold on me anymore. I am stronger because of the person I’ve become. I can forgive that situation because it doesn’t impact my mind or heart. I held it in my heart for so long that it was always there with everything else. So, going back to this lesson – I think it’s about how you can hold your pain but also be okay with it, being able to process it, adding light to it and then letting it go.
