It's Been Too Long..

Seems like I continuously struggle every year to post on my blog. 2016 just ended up being the worst year of my life. I really struggled there and put on a brave face towards everyone I knew. It's hard trying to adult on your own sometimes. You just wish you had a partner you can offload to or you wish the gods would give you a lucky break. I felt like everything in my life was going wrong in perfect succession and there was nothing I could do about it. I really gave up on myself, when I had family and friends who really prayed for me and believed in me, when I didn't have the strength inside.

But I don't want to just wallow there so here are the positives I had for 2016:

• I got a new job that pays almost double than what I used to earn. Thanks Asmi for pushing my name to the recruiter often.
• I have a newfound connection with my bestie Joanna. We have travelled down paths I never thought we would and unlocked some secrets within ourselves.
• I met a new friend at work, one of which I didn't know if we'd get along but now consider her my family, because deep down she has a kind soul. Thanks Amena, for always looking out for me.
• I "met" a woman from the US who inspires me every other day and someone I call a best friend. Thanks Nasiha for always looking out for me and listening to my stories about life.
• I went to the UK for the first time in September and can't wait to go back. I love the greenery in Scotland which makes me excited about all the places in the world with such natural beauty.
• My mum has always been there through every struggle. Still owe my mum in many ways!
• My mate Colin always worries about me sometimes more than I think he does. He looks out for me in ways that only he knows how. I hope he doesn't stress out too much.
• Reconnected with my friend Rob who continually challenges my thinking and my perspective on things. I like the conversations we have that really makes me think twice about my opinion and how that can be perceived by others.
• Randomly booked a holiday to the Maldives for June 2017 and I cannot wait!

I am thankful for the massive turnaround my life took. I don't struggle as much as I did and  have a good support system I've built that reassures me that everything will be okay. 

Sometimes, you just have to trust that it will work out. There were times that I was stuck so low in that black hole, I didn't know how I was to get out. I think that's the scary part about life - getting stuck in such a way that you keep climbing, only to be knocked back down again. If I've learned anything, is to not be afraid to ask for help. It's amazing what people can do for you if you just ask.

What I also lacked this whole time was motivation. When I really hit that low, I wasn't inspired to do much. I kept setting myself goals and failing at it. I realised yesterday that I am more of a visual person, so if my goals are staring me in the face, then I am more likely to tell myself to keep at it. Here is what I drew up:

It might seem a bit childish but I believe I work off visuals a lot better than just having ideas in my head. I create these ideas and it's been proven that I do not stick with it. Because this is in my face every day when I walk down my stairs, it means I have something to achieve. There is still more than 6 months to get this flow going and I'm determined to do it.

I want to do away with the 9-5 job and the only way to achieve the lifestyle I want is to start helping my self. Please pray for me. 

Here's to a happy end to 2017.

LiLi