Day 290 - A Year to Clear - Be With Not Knowing

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Lesson 290: Be With Not Knowing

Sometimes things in life don’t make sense. Sometimes we feel like we can’t figure things out so situations feel unresolved. Sometimes we are just boggled and can’t find the right answer. Today is about being okay with discomfort. That in the discomfort of not knowing, that we can find clarity as it will also reveal itself. What’s something that has been providing discomfort lately or an issue occurring in your life that you don’t really understand why?

For me, I think that the major thing that has brought questions of why, is my mum telling me she has a growth in her breast. I find out soon if it’s cancer. I have been trying to process it. It’s one of those things that you don’t wish upon anyone, especially someone you love, but it’s a part of life. I had a good cry and let the emotions flow through me. What makes me uncomfortable at the moment is the waiting game of further tests to confirm. The wait is the shittiest part of all of this.

What it has allowed me to think about is why it’s important to allow challenges in your life to flow through you. Get upset, take the time to process and then think about the way to move forward. What it teaches me is not to wallow and allow my emotions to consume me. I believe that it’s about embracing the discomfort and learning from it. There may be roller coaster moments of emotion during these challenges, but that’s all part of building resilience. We become strong through things we haven’t faced before – sometimes because we have to. I think it’s important to not solely face on what’s going wrong, but what positive thoughts and actions I can bring to the situation. It’s about how we overcome adversity and how that experience can assist another.  Sometimes it’s just about having to think bigger than ourselves.

Did you find clarity within something in your life this week?

Day 205 - A Year to Clear - Monkey Mind Mom

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Lesson 205: Monkey Mind Mom

Stephanie Bennett Vogt speaks in today lesson of a situation where her daughter was in Europe and she missed some trains. Things essentially were not going to plan and her daughter was crying saying that she wished her parents were there, but that she knew it would be okay by sticking it out. The lesson is about things not going to plan and at times you might feel like the world is against you. You might curl up in a ball and cry. You might feel like you’re making tracks but going three steps back. There are times when we are challenged in this way. Today is to think of a time when you felt really rattled when plans just went into disarray. How did you handle them?

I guess today’s lesson may not have initially resonated it for me because it was named “monkey mind mom” because I’m not a mum (I’m Australian and we spell it mum). I get what the lesson is about and it’s about those times we feel like everything is going wrong and our minds take over. I’m just not sure why it had to be labelled with “mom”. Anyway, that’s not entirely important so I’ll move onto my experience.

I think 2016 and 2017 were some real shit years for me. From not having enough money to support myself, being sexually harassed at a work party, having an abortion, not having any career direction.. I felt like every time something good was happening, something worse would come along. Like it seemed like it was systematic. I felt like I couldn’t get ahead in my life. There were times when I felt like “how much more can I go through?”. I just wanted this bad run to end. Eventually it did when I had a spiritual awakening and starting to see all the good things in life, even if it were small positives. I feel like having the awareness to look at life in a different way really changed my life. I learned to accept that yes, bad things do happen though it doesn’t mean I can’t learn from it or see a positive in it. I just needed to sink to my darkest parts of myself in order to shine the light to get back out again. When my mind gets muddled with everyday life franticness, I try to just breathe through it and think of a better way. There is no way to completely stop bad thoughts from coming into your mind, but it’s just how we react that can make a difference. I try not to overwhelm myself and if I do, I take a moment for myself.