Day 126 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - It is Not About Gaining Control

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Lesson 126: It is Not About Gaining Control...

Today is about looking into of our emotions - recognising that they are in different states of vibration, but all in the path to opening our hearts. We are to close our eyes and feel our emotions now. We are to note where we feel stuck or where we have expanded. We might realise we’re in a different place to what we think.

Firstly, I felt love - the love I have more myself is far greater than it ever has been, and in turn, I have a lot more love for others. I think all the work I have been doing to accept myself, and really discovering the answers I seek on my own, have opened me up to things I never thought possible. That definitely has come down to some self-love and working through situations of the past.

There’s still some anger within me but that’s more frustration at myself. I have trouble setting routine for things that I actually want to learn or set aside time for. Though this seems to stem from frustrations at work draining me and I just want to move into my new role that was announced in December 2017. With that draining me, I am exhausted for any sort of activity on most days. This is something I am still working on.

Sadness seems to loom but not from past trauma. Or maybe I confuse this with worry. There seems to be some thoughts around loneliness and not being able to find someone to share my life with. This isn’t something that parades in my mind often. I know I have a lot of work to do in my life and this part of my life gets pushed to the back. So maybe, it’s about finding that balance to let someone in. I know I don’t make time for this so maybe that’s on me. Still got figuring out to do in the love department.

Envy is something I hold but not in the way people think. I look upon others who don’t realise that they have really great lives and aren’t grateful for what they have. A lot of people take for granted who and what is in their lives, and I think that bugs me. People don’t realise how lucky they are.

There is no pain, so I’m grateful for that. What I have learned is that I can deal with pain and overcome anything by facing the pain.

I don’t hold the fears I used to by entering my spiritual path. I think the only thing that holds me back is my self-doubt though I am working on this.

Apart from this, nothing else comes to mind. I thought this was a good exercise to really understand the inner workings of me and come to some realisations of what needs work?

How did you go?